If it ain’t broke, it just lacks duct tape

Thomas liked to sit by the seaside and watch the ships coming in and going out again which was odd considering his mortal fear of all things water. The fear of water started just after he was 4 when he watched the Wizard of Oz for the first time. A melting Witch does strange things to a 4 year old. It has also been 4 years since Tom had moved to the seaside from Riply in Derbyshire.

He only moved to Ripley as the town was named after his favourite film character although he never told anyone that. His time at the seaside was often filled with fun and frolics. He lived in the amusement arcade, the one just behind the Moon pub inside a 2p machine.

He would live on those 2ps that fall over the edge but never end up in the tray at the bottom. It was only minimum wage but it paid for his food and duct tape addiction. It was lucky that his duct tape addiction has recently been decreased to manageable levels. He used to get through 3-4 rolls a week but he’s got it down to just 1 now. He always said some people smoke, others drink, I wrap stuff in duct tape and then try and peel it off. His favourite colour tape was orange.

Duct Tape Porn

The bright colour was always a showstopper at the Duct tape fares and would often sell out on the first day. Yellow was a close second for Tom, but over the years that had been some debate over the use of yellow.

People would debate long ion to the night whether it was a real colour or an excuse to try and tempt more women into duct tape. As with most Duct tape fares or DTFs the ratio of men to women was always around the 99:1 mark with very few women also coming out as fascinated by the sticky rippable adhesive qualities of duct tape.

The events are organised online with local meet ups planned for most weekends around the country. The biggest was on the last Sunday of the month in Rippington, East Yorkshire, just a stone’s throw away from where Tom lived.

He would get up early, before the amusements’ were open and catch the number 38 to Ripplington which went via Clockham and Toplington. At each stop more and more “Duct Heads” would join the bus. There were rumours that the local bus company might have to start a special service to cover the extra people wanting to travel to Rippington on Duct days.Little did they know the real truth.

The owner of the bus company Jim Berg was a massive Gaffer tape fan, and as I am sure you’ll be aware the rivalry between the two fractions of the cloth pressure-sensitive tape often coated with polyethylene gangs got out of hand. Back in the heyday of the tape, these rival gangs would meet up in Brighton to have a stick off. Large areas of the town would be no go places after 7pm as gangs would use their respective tape to mark their territory and any other objects they could find.

It took several years before Brighton council managed to stop the violence to objects and in some cases wild life. It was in fact a taped seagull on the front of the Brighton Conical that led to a crackdown on the tape gangs.  As with most things,the rivalry has now headed online with different twitter user and Facebook groups waging war with each other. It’s much more civilised but no less oppressive

The DTF was due to begin at 10am in the main hall of Rippington Church, their usual venue the Forbidden Planet on the High St, had received orders from head office to ban all meeting in the store: “We don’t and have no intention of selling this type of product. It goes against all we at forbidden planet hold dear. We do not condone this use of sticky products and as such wish to have no more dealings with either Duct or Gaffer tapes”

Again rumours were rife that the Gaffer tape gangs had got to the shareholders of the Forbidden planet to shut the DTF down. The right Rev. Jones who came to the rescue after he stumbled upon their facebook page asking if anyone had a spare room for them to meet in.

The Rev. Is a clever old soul by deciding to allow them the use of the church hall on the condition they paid a small fee to cover tea and coffee. The Rev. knew full well “these people” never drink hot drinks and all monies would go towards a new roof after the lead was stolen at Christmas. Before he found his calling, Rev Jones was a savvy businessman which interests in sticky backed plastic and white tac.

Moving Car Duct Tape

He never liked blu-tack as it reminded him of his first love Sara who left him to join the navy.Jones had been seeing a counsellor for many years to overcome his fear of blue, blue was the colour of water, blue was the colour of her eyes, blue were paying on the radio when she broke the news of her joining up.

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