Bad Cheese and the Smells

It’s a strange world out there. There are all kinds of oddities which make me smile and cry in equal measure. There’s the internet troll and his family of trollits. There is Dan and his magnificent collection of tooth picks from 1739 to 1894 (post 1894 they are just sharp sticks) and of course there were the little Smells of Sussex.

The little Smells had picked up a name for themselves after they were interviewed as part of operation Blue Cheese back in 1998.  For those of you with short memory’s, operation blue cheese was a series of investigations by the Met police investigating the use of Cheese as a chemical weapon.

The operation lasted 8 years and saw over 300 arrests which were mostly French cheese producers in and around Sussex and the Home Counties area. It led to the collapse of both the British and French Governments and an increase in British Colwick Cheese sales around the world.

Cheese and the Smells

At the investigations height the Smells were interviewed on all major UK TV networks including Sky. They were one of the first people to be arrested back in 1995 at the start of the investigation. For over 3 years they were kept on police bail until the changes were eventually dropped in early ‘98. This is when they launched their over exposed media campaign

Still to this day, they Smalls claim all they wanted to do is clear their name and stop the spread of rumours that their cheeses of being linked to the terrible crimes committed in Dorset, Norwich and Dewsferrytown. Yet critic’s believed there were other reasons for their media frenzy.

There was talk among some quarters that the Smells wanted to be the next Osborne’s but without the language and fame to start with. Other believed they were looking to make a fortune out of the movie rights to their story. The book deal was worth millions alone.

What shook the world the most was their lack of principles and the blatant use of their kids to make money. Terry and Sara Small were often shown in awkward conditions, shoved on TV or worse made to do embarrassing antics to ensure airtime.  They were nothing more than performing smells.

It wasn’t until sometime later when the bitter and sad truth came out. The elder of the Smalls Tito and Siki were arrested for “Alcohol related offences” while being “booked in” the officers noticed something odd and requested a full cavity search only to discover there are not cavities.

Both Tito and Siki had no holes anywhere on their body, even their ears were solid.

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